The Catxman Cometh

“[Greg] began to work the crowd on his way to the bandstand, shaking hands, touching other hands outstretched over the heads of those in the first ranks. The crowd lurched and swayed deliriously toward him […]” — Stephen King, The Dead Zone

“Great ambition is the passion of a great character. Those endowed with it may perform very good or very bad acts. All depends on the principles which direct them.” — Napoleon Bonaparte

. . . . . . . And in a flash, Catxman appears!

. . . . . . . *bowing* How dooooo ye do. I’m Catxman. This is Catxman Central, also known as the nexus of all felines, also known as the yodeling continuum. But in the end I call it Catxman’s Cradle.

. . . . . . . It’s an uphill climb, kids. Hold tight to the railings, we’re going to Infinity! {cont.}

TELEPORT TO (click on the blue below if you don’t want to read this entry)

. . . . . . . Countless entries, subjects galore. Nothing is forbidden, all is open to the penetrating eye of Catxman. Bow before this great wall of black-stoned text, veined with purple hexagons.

. . . . . . . Politics, sports, war — business. And writing. What do they all have in common? The Catxman covers ’em all. With panache. With glory. Yes, covering business with glory! Them bean counters don’t decorate themselves, y’know!

. . . . . . . This is a Canadian-based website, so they’ll be a slight Canuckian slant to the proceedings, but I trust that won’t leave a bad taste in your mouth. Think of Canada as being the transatlantic bridge between the Behemoth America and Classic England. And then you’ll be hooked.

. . . . . . . On occasion, I’ll drop a little poetry. Why the poesy you ask? Well because it adds a certain ornate elegance to the proceedings. I realize that poetry is out this year (and this decade, and this century) but I’ll try and haul it into the Twenty-First Century for yer perusal.

. . . . . . . Then there’s WAR.

. . . . . . . It’s big, it’s bad, it’s lurking around your door like the wolf in the majestic story. There’s tanks, sometimes jets. Nukes sporadically. (Well, not since ’45.) It’s a subject of much interest to the Cat.

. . . . . . . Politics, which war is a continuation of by other means according to Clausewitz, gets a nod here too. Actually, rather than list all the categories I tackle, suffice to say everything under the sun gets a look-see and an honest appraisal. I take on the tough issues, baby. And they take on my sun tan.

. . . . . . . All the other websites are limited in one glaring factor: they don’t have +me+. The competition is weak, flaccid, empty, and portentously self-limiting. There’s only one CRADLE baby — Catxman’s Cradle. The trigger lock has been set on this hand weapon and it’s safe for now … pick it up, yo! look it over! Ain’t it a beaut! But watch out, cuz we’re goin’ to the range later on. I’ve got targets galore made up.

. . . . . . . Part of the purpose of the Cradle is to improve my writing. I work best under pressure, and with an audience scrutinizing my every word I’ll be subject to the winds of change. Also, think of it as a product forum where the attendees talk about what they like and what they don’t like about the product. I’ll find out which topics are a hit and which ones are duds, comparatively speaking. And even down to what’s good about the paragraph, the occasional comment will illuminate miles.

. . . . . . . The Cradle is off-limits to whiners and sissies. Remember that this is my world and an olive branch is extended to you as a guest. When commenting, be blunt and direct but please don’t insult my ass. I don’t take easily to biting-the-hand-that-feeds.

. . . . . . . I’m relaxed, easygoing — occasionally enraged + outraged. (Enraged + Outraged, designing buildings since 2021.) I’m the main man of Catzuckstan, since I so delegated myself. And that’s the way to do everything, I think! Pick up the Roman laurels and drop ’em on your head as if dusting off your hands and declaring yourself imperator. There’s a tough problem and the City needs solvin’. Who you gonna call? Cat-busters!

. . . . . . . I’ll see you on the flip side — in the main menu of selections, of course! Scroll up and down as need be, and don’t be afraid to use PAGE UP and PAGE DOWN keys — they’re ever so much faster, daaahlings. Ta ta! L8r g8r!

— Catxman, June 22, 2021

By the way, when’re you gonna buy my book? Huh? Huh? Can’t ya stand the heat, the kitchen’s on fire, on fire from this word processor of mine! — C.

3 thoughts on “The Catxman Cometh

  1. Yeah – this is good and promising – and I reckon you’re achieving it having read quite a bit of what you’ve since posted. I’m a fan – one of those fawning groupies Don’t panic – it’ll wear off. But it’s fresh, intelligent, and sometimes close to the bone. “The competition is weak, flaccid, empty, and portentously self-limiting” I’m not sure about the flaccid bit..

    1. *nods head slightly* Appreciate that. If you have any requests on what you’d like to read, drop a line in the comments. I’ll be sure to get on it.

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