Books I’d like to write

. . . . . . . The first series of books I’d like to write would be H O R R O R.

. . . . . . . But not hard-core horror. Soft horror. Social dynamics based horror, with moments of scary intent.

“Death doesn’t exist. It never did, it never will. But we’ve drawn so many pictures of it, so many years, trying to pin it down, comprehend it, we’ve got to thinking of it as an entity, strangely alive and greedy. All it is, however, is a stopped watch, a loss, an end, a darkness. Nothing.” — Ray Bradbury, Something Wicked This Way Comes

. . . . . . . You can see this in Stephen King’s book totals. The man must’ve sold around half a billion books by now. He’s steadily encroaching on Agatha Christie territory. King sells equally well to males and females whereas Aggy deals the rando dice with a girly crowd. (And twinks too, I suppose.)

. . . . . . . But remember King has lots of flaws. His biggest one is his appealing to women deliberately. He turned off a lot of men readers by doing that. But second-biggest, close behind, is having loser characters and disturbing gratuitous shit going down. Like gratuitous: when a little boy gets anally rammed by a tree branch and killed that way. Hey, Steve, that’s just not necessary. Or starting off from the very beginning, when everybody treats Carrie White like a social pariah. Dunking her under water. Scrawling “eats shit” after her name on desks.

. . . . . . . Or the loser’s club in the mammoth “It” book. Nobody wants to read about twinks, or losers, or Jewish types becoming gunslingers or heroic chicks in wheelchairs. He keeps trying to go for that National Book Award. And you know what? He’s trying so hard I think they’re gonna give it to him one day.

. . . . . . . The best book is going to resemble a TV soap opera. “John told Tim that Alex said that Marigold was going to go to the beach.” “Really? Because Tim intercepted Alex earlier. He had an urgent message for Marigold.” That kind of writing.

. . . . . . . One way or another, the winner who can realistically pull off a win is what we all gravitate to. I’m sorry, but life is a popularity contest. That’s the kind of books I want to write — the kind of horror novel with supercool characters based on — yup, you guessed it — supercool Me.

. . . . . . . For what is the horror genre of books, after all? It is the standard type of books. You can write about the everyday world, and going to work, and being a (supercool guy) and all that, and then ohmiGod something’s skittering toward me down the hallway what the F. is that?

. . . . . . . Rhythm Is A Dancer is the standard song; Star Wars Episode 5 is the standard movie; soft core novels with soap opera dancing back and forth is the standard wordy word thing.

. . . . . . . And oh my god the money to be made.

. . . . . . . Now, grant you, there’s more money to be made in Romance. And women, being the eager herd following animals that they are, will graze where you point them. Bless their vacuous heads. But Romance doesn’t cover both genders.

. . . . . . . The problem with horror is it’s unreliable. Typically, a writer will start hard core — slam slam slammin’ — and then switch it up — light punch flip over that pancake backpedal bash it — and you never how extreme the next horror novel is going to be.

. . . . . . . That’s why you want some consistency as a horror novelist.

. . . . . . . And that’s what I plan on delivering. Catxman the consistent novelist.

12 thoughts on “Books I’d like to write

  1. terrific coverage of King’s flaws and virtues. The gold standards for me are ‘The Shining’ and ‘Misery’; be interesting to see what you come up with: happy writing 🙂

  2. I’d rather write about dysfunctional families. (Now that can be horror too)
    Well, I did like Agatha Christie growing up. Although with time I could just guess the perpetrator now I her them for a light read.

  3. I hate that about King’s writing. It’s like a failure to suppress the absolute darkest impulses of the mind. It’s a trait King shares with a Lot of filmmakers. Even very successful ones. Tarantino for one. He Can be so childishly sadistic. But what’s particularly disturbing in King’s case is how often the victims ARE children.

    1. I don’t wish to censor him. I’m more annoyed by his characters loser status than what happens to the children. My philosophy is that you should write some books for yourself and some books for your audience UNLESS YOU’RE IN A NONPAYING JOB, LIKE THIS ONE. The Cat’s Cradle doesn’t get me any money, so I SHOULD do it all for myself. Warren Buffett compared his company, Berkshire Hathaway, to the Sistene Chapel and said don’t tell him what to do. Because he’s making lots of money for the company his way. So if you’re on either end — zero paying or big bucks paying — you have the right to do exactly what you want. But if you’re an author, you have a duty TO THE READER FIRST. You’d better sometimes give them what they want, or they’ll kick you off the midlist, and then kick you off the list entirely.

  4. Right on about King. A genius and banana balls bat shit crazy in my view at least. His dark shit is interesting. IT! That shit didn’t give a mind fuck as much as it made me wonder what was this fucker on when he wrote it. Reading that book was the first time I saw where the author was going and thought….the fuck?!

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